Table sharing, anyone?


Dessert House Eatery. 03 96631400.
Shop 18, Mid City Arcade. 200 Bourke Street. Melbourne.
Engrish: 8. BON: 5
TTDWW: Silently make fun of the international students around you.


Dessert House sells dessert, obviously.
Yet Ramen hasn't seen anyone ordering their crepes. Most customers (mainly international students) go there for their HK style dishes.
Translated as 'Cart Noodles', you can choose from the 30+ items on the menu to go with different noodles or different sauces.
Aside from that, you've got your normal Ala Carte menu, starting at $8. Your drinks get cheaper with any meals ordered.
The signature dish of Dessert House for Ramen is their lemon grass pork/chicken chop with egg on rice/noodles.
Another great dish would be the spicy pepper chicken chop with rice. Basically it's just fried chicken on rice, but be sure to have your neighbours glaring at you with envy if you happen to place an order.
Did Ramen mention the tiny space of Dessert House? Also, expect to wait in line during peak hours, which is pretty much all the time.
Dessert House has opened a branch along Swanston Street recently. They've taken the 'Cart Noodles' off the menu but has included a new range of baked rice/ pasta. Ramen's just too attached to the lemon grass.

Side dish gala


Han Guuk Guan. 03 96391747
13A Victoria Street. Melbourne.
Engrish: 10. BON: 0 (All men)
TTDWW: Figure out what's in the side dish.


Well hidden at the corner of Victoria and Exhibition Street, Han Guuk Guan is a very surprising restaurant. It pops out of nowhere. At least that was Ramen's first impression when his friend brought him there.
Immediately he felt a sense of authenticity because of the wooden interior, and the alienation of the restaurant itself.
And the supporting reason, will be the Korean menu filled with unconvincing English translation, which excited him even more.
The first time Ramen was there, he couldn't find the Bibimbap. So he ordered some random dish which turned out to be fried rice with omelet.
However, do try the Kim Chi stir fry dumplings with rice sticks. Actually, just try the dumplings. A quick dish would be the Jajyungmen, which is sort of similar to dry noodles with black bean sauce. Supposedly everyone in Korean dramas eats that. You can also order a 'Ying Yang' noodle dish, which you get half Jaijyungmen and half seafood spicy soup noodles.
Last weekend, Ramen's finally managed to spot the Bibimbap under the 'Korean food' section. (The menu has 2 sections: Chinese and Korean)
For $11, it's too healthy. You can pay an extra $2 for the stone bowl so that it's warmer than the metal bowl Ramen had.
He liked it, but not sure if it's worth paying that much money for mixed beef, veges and egg with rice. Then again, Korean food's always steep to start with. Ramen'd return to try the other dishes in the future. Especially the BBQ and hot pot. First he has to make some friends to cover the bill.

Frenzy


2 teaspoons of white sugar, 1 teabag, 50 or 100ml of milk, depending on Ramli's mood. Will his lifespan be shorten if he drinks 3 cups a day? Ramli wonders.

Sydney Blues


Bambini Trust Café. +61 2 9283 7098.
185 Elizabeth St, Sydney, Australia.
Engrish: 0. BON: 7.
TTDWW: Admire other people's dishes.

The first time Ramli was there, he didn't dare to walk with his university hoodie.


It seemed very classy.

It was recommended by a friend for its coffee, being ranked as one of the tops along with Campos. How could Ramli not give it a try?

It is a very nice and classy place for suited up working people to have lunch. Ramli and his friend were denied to have coffee indoor because they were serving lunch, so they had to take away. It cost $2.50 for a long black, much cheaper than the average.

First sip had Ramli disappointed, because he prefers strong coffee. It tasted as if it was diluted. However, as Ramli drank on, the coffee's aroma grew smoother and creamier. It was actually a very good cup of coffee! It's different from Campos: it won't hit you on the first sip as Campos has a much stronger characteristic. It's like... comparing marinara and carbonara. They are both pastas but they have different sauces hence totally different breed. It's probably because of the coffee beans they use - Cremcaffe.

What's more to life, than to have a long black from Bambini in a cold rain?

Pray you never burp


King of Kings. 03 96632895.
209 Russell Street. Melbourne.
Engrish: 7. BON: 3.
TTDWW: Ask your friend to describe her trip to Bangkok.

The dish you see above, is called egg chiffon on rice.
Ramen has never seen it before upon arriving Melbourne. In fact, King of Kings is possibly Ramen's first Chinese restaurant.
Obviously the egg chiffon is a must try. The word chiffon, Ramen suspects, comes from 'Chiffon cake', referring to the almost cake-like texture of the omelet. You can choose any meat to go with the egg chiffon, be it bbq pork, beef, roast chicken, roast duck etc. A normal egg chiffon dish comes with duck sauce. The specialty of King of Kings, is the chili oil flakes seen above.
When all is mixed up, you get a unique dish only offered in this tiny easy to neglect restaurant. Warning: You might lose 2 years of your life span as it is, you can probably guess, mighty unhealthy.

Say Cheese


Ok, so Ramen saw the ads and got conned into buying it.
Kraft's easy mac snack is like the western version of Mi Goreng. At 99c per pack, it's 3 times the price of its Indonesian rival.
Nutritional value: 0.2%
Obviously as a Kraft product, be sure to taste the cheese.
And maybe feel your life stream slipping away.
One of those snacks that leaves you feeling dirty upon finishing it.

Funny pies



Having stayed in a residential college for 4 years, Ramen believed that his perception on pies was ruined imminently.
After all, pies are never enough for a meal, yet too much for a snack. If it wasn't for him waking up on an awkward morning, he never would have tried Jester's pie. And he'll never realise that Jesters is a franchise.
Ramen reckons it's ok paying $4.20 for a heavy snack/ fast food. Soft drinks cost almost $3. A bun would cost half of the pie.
He's only tried the Satay Chicken and the Chicken & Veges. The Satay was appalling. And like any other commercial food, the crust tastes great but inhuman. Just like how McDonald's fries taste like.
Nowadays he's always tempted to get one on the way home because he's never full, yet not fully famished.

Instant homesickness.



Ramen's friend gave him one packet to prove how authentic this prawn noodle tastes like compared to the real thing in Malaysia.
Well, it smelled really authentic, until Ramen added an egg into the soup and scrambled it. He also didn't add all the flavouring packets.
So maybe next time, he'll try without the eggs.
But the smell really brought him back to the prawn noodles stalls back in Klang. It's nostalgic, although it's bad for your health.

Batter is key.


Kagu Ra Zaka. 03 9827 2608.
266 Toorak Road, South Yarra. Melbourne.
Engrish: 7 BON: 7 (can't actually tell the age)
TTDWW: Read 16 pages of a chick novel.


Kagu is situated opposite the Como building along Toorak Rd, 10 minutes away from Ramen's work place.
Tonkatsu is a bowl of rice topped with deep fried pork cutlet, egg and condiments. Sometimes you get onions, sometimes spring onions etc.
Restaurants rarely, in this case Kagu Ra Zaka, offers the choice of your Katsudon's cutlet to be pork or chicken.
Ramen chose the latter.
Have you ever had that experience eating a cutlet, when the batter just separates from the meat, or grease just go spurting out of your mouth? Fortunately, Kagu's Katsudon did neither of that.
The soy sauce normally comes next in terms of the hierarchy of taste. Which is fairly basic, because you seldom screw up soy sauce.

In fact, this is probably the best Katsudon Ramen has eaten for a while. For $8, he is sure to return. The Chinese owned Japanese stall in Como charges $8.50, and they don't even have a fraction of Kagu's dining atmosphere.
Interesting fact: Students in Japan eat Katsudon before exams because 'Katsu' also means 'to be victorious' in Japanese.

Short of cash?


CAMY SHANGHAI NOODLE HOUSE.
Tattersalls Lane, China Town. Melbourne.
Engrish: 10. BON: 6.
TTDWW: Tell your friends what have you done for the day.


We normally just call it 'that dumpling house'.
It's listed among the '100 things to do below $10' in Melbourne during 1995. 12 years later, you can still count on the value.
The dumplings and noodles start at $6.80.
Ramen tried the chicken and prawn dumplings with chili oil today. You get 8 dumplings instead of the normal 15 since chicken and prawn are more expensive. He really likes it since he's not much of a pork person to start with. Also, Ramen's finally tried the Dan Dan noodles. Very spicy.
Next time if you happen to walk pass that dumpling house, check out the menu outside and have a laugh. It's been tampered with and the owners never bothered to change it. Maybe they haven't realised it yet.

Fishes and Birds


Sydney Fish Market +61 2 9004 1100
247 Bank Street, Pyrmont NSW, Australia.
Engrish: 1-6 BON: Approximately 2 on average.
TTDWW: Shoot 13 seagulls and 2 pelicans. I mean with camera.
N/A to the person(s) doing the ordering.


It was said to be a local attraction, and Ramli found out that it wasn't listed in some of the Sydney attractions booklet/brochures.

It opens 7 days per week from 7 am. In Ramli's opinion, it is best to go there around 11 for brunch, before it's too hot to sit outside and get irritated by the birds, and after it's a bit cold to sit outside and get irritated by the birds.

Some people say they sell cheap seafood. However Ramli thinks that since they have been commercialised and the increasing flooding of Chinese tourists, they are not to be considered 'cheap' anymore. Ramli and family (6 person) ordered 1/2 dozen of oysters, tuna and salmon sashimi, 6x scallops, 1/2 kg king prawns, a grilled blue eye cod, a grilled burramundi, fried anchovies, 1/2 kg grilled mussels (with butter and garlic sauce), grilled squid (with sweet chilli sauce),4x grilled lobsters and a bottle of white wine, and they cost just below $200 mark. The lobsters cost around $68 (including $7.50 cooking charge). Nonetheless they are still very much cheaper than any Chinese restaurant that will charge you $40-$140 for a burramundi.

The attraction is really the variaty of seafood available for you to handpick and cooked to eat on the spot, with a reasonable price and Anzac bridge and Pyrmont bay view. Oh and let's not forget about the seagulls and pelicans that will help you clean up your leftovers (with or without your approval).

By the way, the butter and garlic sauce is really something.

Where friends meet


Cafe Notturno. 03 9347 8286.
177-179 Lygon Street. Carlton. Melbourne.
Engrish: 1 BON: Difficult. Staff changes quite regularly.
TTDWW: Watch an episode of FRIENDS.

ABSOLUTE must try: The eggplant chips.
Ramen's never seen it anywhere else. Then again, he might be ignorant. Anyway, the eggplants are sliced and deep friend, covered with their secret batter. It makes him forget that he hates eggplants. Arguable the best snack he's had in Melbourne. Another merit dish is the Caesar's Salad with Chicken Stripes. It is a bit pricey for $12.90, but worth sharing with a friend or two. Lose the anchovies if you remember because Ramen always forgets.
For mains, you'd be satisfied with any of their pizza's, especially the vegetarian Venus. For pasta, Ramen recommend the Veal Tortellini. The mushroom cream sauce just gets you hooked on for more. Only try the real beef burger when you're really hungry or just feel like something unhealthy. Do try the cakes from Notturno. Yet be aware that they're all GIGANTIC. Although it will be difficult to finish a slice by your own, Ramen recommends the Mars Bars Cake.
The put off of Notto's will be their service. Most of the time you'd have to wait for at least 20 minutes as they're always full.
The price is how much you normally get charged for eating in Lygon. But I'm definitely sure you'll find satisfaction in a meal for $15 in Notturno.

Picture from yourrestaurants.com.au

Gelato 101

Gelato is very different from Ice cream.
It is a combination of milk, eggs, sugar, and natural flavouring(or fresh fruits and sugar); Ice creams, merely turn most flavours into pastels.
Gelato is a less firmly frozen, softer, more intensely flavoured and coloured creation of the italians. They all melt faster than ice cream. The best fruit gelato is made from crushed fresh ripe seasonal fruit; the best milk based gelato is flavoured with all natural ingredients and has a silky consistency.

Glossary:
Semifreddo: "half-cold". Made from the same base as gelato but has whipped cream folded in. Vaguely resembles a mousse.
Sorbetto: fruit sorbet.
Granite: slushy grainy water ices.

Big Wok!


Flower Drum 03 9662 3655
17 Market Lane. Between Bourke and Little Bourke.
Engrish: 7 BON: irrelevant
TTDWW: Anticipate

Flower Drum has been removed from the World's Top 50 Restaurant list since 2006. Part of the reason, Ramen suspects, is the departure of founder Gilbert Lau. Check the complete list here. Sydney's Tetsuya is still holding strong at No. 5, also being recognised as Australasia's best restaurant. Having said that, Flower Drum still dominates any good food guide in Melbourne.

Ramen was fortunate enough to have lunch there last year. It was a farewell thing with a good friend and they saw it appropriate.
The menu was disappointingly typical. Ramen spoke to the manager and asked for his recommendation. They ended up having spring onion pancakes, lobster rice roll, stir fried lamb with noodles, and fried rice, for the fun of it.
The servings were in a gourmet proportion. In other words, small. They couldn't really remember if it tasted like heaven, but Ramen were happy at that moment. Service was creepily good. And there's nothing much to complain besides the fact that it looked like a normal restaurant.
It cost $50 per person for that lunch. Ramen thinks it's overrated.

Sunday dinner


A mix of San Remo thin spaghetti and SB Golden Curry Sauce Mix(Black). It's quite an interesting combination. Just like how it's interesting to mix up seafood and ice cream.

B+K+T


Restaurant Teluk Pulai.
Taman Rahsna, Klang.
No bookings. No queuing system either.
Engrish: They don't speak Engrish. BON: -3
TTDWW: Make 3 pots of tea.


Bah Kut Teh literally translates Meat Bone Tea. BKT to Klang is like golf to Scotland. We invented the damn thing. It's a gluttonous broth of different herbs and spices cooked with pork, mushroom, lettuce, bean curd etc. Often served with rice. Goes well with Chinese tea and fried dough, hence the name.

When it comes to BKT, there's no clear distinction between good and bad. Only the ones that you're used to. There're different versions of BKT. The old school style would have only the meat you've chosen being served on a small porcelain bowl with blue patterns. The more widely accepted version, would be the clay pot, which is our favourite in Restaurant TP.

Some like the broth thin, some thick and heavy. Teluk Pulai is somewhere in the middle. Plus it's next to the Federal Highway, which means convenience when we're on the way out of Klang. Ramen remembers waiting for hours just to get a table during weekends.

It's not a hawker centre


Chili Padi @ Melbourne Central. 03 9663 5688
Corner Little Lonsdale and Elizabeth. Melbourne.
Engrish: 2 BON: 7
TTDWW: Have a 2km run.


There are people who like the laksa from Chili Padi, and there are people who like Laksa King. But rarely both.

Erected for 3 years now, Chili Padi is a Cinderella restaurant to any hawker centre owners back home in Malaysia: located in the heart of the city, well designed interior, providing both smoking and non smoking area with a second floor, cool dark wooden furnitures, and serving food like nasi goreng, laska, and bah kut teh starting at $10 per dish. If that's not a hawker's dream come true then what?

Ramen's ancestors would chew out of their grave to hunt him down if they actually know he paid $10 for a bowl of laksa. But then again, if you gather into perspective, any decent meal in Melbourne starts from $10. Anyway in a bowl of laksa you get: chicken, sliced cucumber, onions, beancurds, noodles topped with fried onions and (cough)mint leaves. Surprisingly, the spice and santan(coconut milk) balanced out pretty well. It's not too gravy like nor milky. It's actually spicy enough to let Ramen think: hmm, it's spicy enough.

Other dishes he's tried before: Nasi Lemak. But no memory whatsoever. A bit of the Bah Kut Teh: total opposite to the word 'authentic', but according to Ramen's sources it's the Singaporean style. Maybe that's why.
Every Thursday to Saturday 10pm to 5am they have a 'mamak' thing going on. But with dishes starting at $6 it's more like a rich university students gateway after Reclaim night.

It's very obvious that the main target of Chili Padi is not your usual hawker centre budget goers. The first give away, is the wine list. Then, the Donna Hay lookalike menu. So yes, it's pretty Australian, it's another restaurant riding the 'new age fusion' bandwagon.

But definitely try the laksa.